Monday, 29 February 2016

How to use Instagram on a PC

Well now I DO have a Smartphone but being old school, I don't really have a license to drive it and have only just got my head round swiping the little green phone icon towards the middle in order to answer the thing. I can however run circles around anybody on a PC.

I know this subject is quite a bone of contention among a lot of people and it is very well documented on the web, but I thought I would share my experience with you for prosperity and make it as simple as possible for the layman to understand. I am not an authority on the subject by any means and I only just started this exercise yesterday. It can appear a bit daunting at first but once you get the hang of it, it's really easy and FUN!

Yes, I googled the subject, and the general consensus was that it can be done by downloading bluestacks which is just what I went ahead and did...

Once you have installed it, simply type "instagram" in the search thingy and tap the magnifying glass. Then select it, and install the app.

Now call me dumb, but I can't for the life of me figure out the next step (3) of the advice given here (which is where I am getting most of this info from) Workaround lets you upload Instagram photos from your desktop computer...Quote:"3. To upload a photo from your desktop, click the camera button, then select the polaroid icons in the lower-right of the app window. This will prompt you to select a photo from your drive. (If you use Instagram on Android, this entire process will be familiar.) Then, edit and upload the photo as usual." (This picture taken from the article)

I'm running Widows 7 and I'm not entirely sure if that is an issue but my Bluestacks looks totally different to that and I don't see any polaroid icons (or even on that one for that matter). If you do on yours, then good luck to you and you can take it from there! If you know why I can't see them, I would really appreciate you telling me in comments. So anyway, being ex-Navy that I am, I am of the psyche that a smooth sea never made a skilled Sailor so I am up for this challenge! This is my view of the camera...

I can't see those suggested apps on the right or any of those other icons at the bottom. Of course, I tinkered around a bit and even downloaded Bluestacks2 in case I was missing something there, only to to be told that I already had it so. Using my own initiative, I did however work out that I could go into the Gallery (bottom left button) and drag an image from my desktop into it. I'm not sure if I invented that or what but it worked! This subsequently enabled me to at least get my logo for my profile picture on Instagram but now that is sooooo last week and I can't recall exactly how I did that!

Exploring the interface, I come across a little folder icon on the left hand side called "Copy files from Windows" and tap it. I am now prompted to choose a file from my computer and so I proceed to do so.

Then what happens is you are prompted to "Complete action using" we select Instagram from the list of options.

Wow! There's my pic on Instagram and now I'm really getting excited! Please bear with me if this is old news as I'm doing this tutorial as I'm learning to make it as clear as humanly possible to myself as well for prosperity so excuse me while I think out loud.

Right so what next? I don't see an option to add text to comment on my image!!! Right now so I am about to throw in the towel and resort to the fact that this is a fruitless exercise. Who ever heard of using Instagram on a PC anyway riiight? Lol. But now I hear that this can be achieved with a thing called Dropbox but I am looking for the fast fix and this is all getting a bit too complicated for me. Go for that if you like and I'd appreciate any feedback on your experience.

So I read up on the subject a little more and Voilà!...I stumbled on a very tidy little alternative that does not enjoy the same hype as Bluestacks but for me it's the business! It's called Gramblr and it's like a breath of fresh air! here's the thing...


Once you have Gramblr's photo uploader (version 1), you just:
1. Sign in to Instagram
2. Choose the photo you would like to upload
3. Add a caption
4. Hit upload
*5. If the text boxes are empty on the confirmation window, something went wrong... try again and it should work!

* Which is precisely what happened to me so bear in mind this is a glitch so I am wondering if perhaps it may be worth looking at Gramblr v2? (You must register to Gramblr and then follow the steps.) Anyway, don't get disheartened if you now get this popping up on your screen...

Just press OK or Send Report and Continue. Keep doing this until you get this window and you can quite happily drag your piccy across into it.

Now we are on a roll...

I SAVE and then *** and hey presto!

Immediately? Yes....SEND!!! Free "Likes"? For real!!!

Upload Complete

Your photo will now appear in your Instagram Profile.
We have received your confirmation, your photo will receive the specified amount of likes....bring it on! Facebook? Twitter? Buy coins? I'll check that out later...I'm way too excited now to worry about that for now. I wanna see how it looks online (I have subsequently added more of course as I cannot leave it alone)

One may have noticed that just to be clever, I typed: "I hope you are enjoying this Instagram on PC Tutorial as much as I am" and now I can't see a way to edit my caption doh! 

Remember that thing called the Bluestack or something like that? I think I still have it on my machine! it wasn't a waste of time after all as I have now discovered that I can edit my caption from here. So if you ever need to do this, open up Bluestacks and find the post that you want to edit. To find your post in the feed, you will have to tap on anywhere in the black area and scroll down with your keyboard down arrow until you come to it.

I have followed all my Facebook contacts so I have have to go down my my feed a bit until I find it. Sorry if I am being glaringly obvious again but you are looking at someone who has never even seen Instagram on a phone, never mind a PC.

I read somewhere that there is a  three little dots icon at the bottom right hand side of the post that can be tapped to edit a caption and I can only just make them out without straining my eyes as of course because Instagram was designed for them pesky phone things, the text is minuscule.

So I grab my reading glasses and restore the window up as such to get a full-screen view and see what's going on. Then I tap the dots icon and I get the option to edit my caption.

You will discover that this is a very finicity (is that a word?) process. There's a little blue cursor thing that appears when I tap at the end of my text and so I go with my keyboard backspace button until it is cleared. I already have the description I want copied from Notebook and so I just paste (Ctrl V) it in  and hit the little blue "Tick" icon at the top right hand side of the post and I'm good to go.

I hope you have enjoyed this Tutorial as much as I have doing it and taken some knowledge if not all away from it. If you want to dispute anything or indeed have a better method, please feel free to post in comments. Oh....and if you are at all partial to doughnuts, you may want to consider purchasing our (I just love referring to myself in the 3rd person as it makes us sound like a huge company lol) super Funny Donut (sic) Chef Green Gingham Wall Clock! (weeell, I had to do at least one plug after all that didn't we?)

Friday, 26 February 2016

100 great things about being Gay!

1. You truly don't care who Julia Roberts is sleeping with.
2. You understand the difference between 43 brands of imported vodka.
3. You can call anyone "Hun" including pets.
4. You know someone who was definitely in the emergency room with Richard Gere and the gerbil.
5. You understand the immense importance of good lighting.
6. You can be at a crowded disco the size of two football fields and still spot a toupée.
7. You can tell a woman you love her batching suit, and actually mean her bathing suit.
8. You can explain the nuances between steady date, boyfriend and lover.
9. You really have "been there, done that."
10. Your women friends will tell you everything you want to know about their boyfriends. And that means everything.
11. You're the only type of male who gets to say "fabulous."
12. You have naked pictures of men you don't know in your home.
13. You can have naked men you don't know in your home.
14. You know how to handle the telephone like a Stradivarius.
15. You understand why the good lord invented Spandex.
16. You understand why the good lord didn't intend everyone to wear it.
17. You know how to get back at just about everyone.
18. You know who Edina and Patsy are.
19. You only wear polyester when you mean to.
20. You can smile to let someone know you can't stand them.
21. You can freeze a troll from 20 feet away.
22. You're good pals with women other people can't stand.
23. You've always got an opinion.
24. You've read the book, seen the movie, done the musical.
25. You know how to dress strategically.
26. Your car has an amusing female name.
27. You're the only one at your high school reunion who looks a lot better than you did in high school
28. You've got at least one framed picture of a pet.
29. If your matress could talk it would be Joan Rivers.
30. You know that sex complicates things, so?
31. You know that being called a "cheap slut" isn't actually an insult.
32. There's a married guy somewhere who is terrified of you.
33. Nobody tells you what to do in bed...unless you tell them what to tell you.
34. You have a medicine chest stocked for any occasion.
35. You have at least one movie musical on video.
36. You're embarrassed by people who sing in piano bars.
37. You're not embarrassed to sing in a piano bar.
38. You never hold a grudge for more than a decade or two.
39. You know how to make an entrance.
40. You know when to make an exit.
41. You worry about people you don't even Lisa Minnelli.
42. You choose the most fabulous greeting cards.
43. You know how to program your VCR.
44. You've got sunscreen at every conceivable SPF level.
45. You have a cologne display worthy of Bloomingdales.
46. You understand, viscerally, Joan Crawford.
47. Some of your best friends are your ex lovers.
48. You know when to play dumb.
49. You know what to do for a hangover.
50. Yes, you do have a condom.
51. You've called someone "girlfriend" who is neither a girl nor a friend.
52. One or more of the following apply to you:
    a) You adore Judy Garland.
    b) You hate Judy Garland.
    c) You hate people who adore Judy Garland.
    d) You hate people who hate Judy Garland.
    e) You don't give a damn about Judy Garland.
    f) Who is Judy Garland?
53. You can supply the last names to the following list:
    a) Bernadette
    b) Chita
    c) Barbra
54. You made Donna Summer a star.
55. You made Donna Summer a has-been.
56. Tanning salons were invented for you.
57. You've made sunbathing a performance art.
58. You know when the party is over.
59. You know where to go when the party is over.
60. You're fearless about fighting the elements.
61. When you hear "a stich in time saves nine" you think of:
    a) Your Grandma.
    b) Your face lift.
    c) John Wayne Bobbit.
62. You know that pigs and bears are not necessarily rural wildlife.
63. You know that referring to someone as "a real lady" isn't necessarily a compliment.
64. Your favorite dinner accessory may also be your dinner companion.
65. You know that the most important part of a party's decor is the catering staff.
66. If your cat is a female, you swear it's a lesbian.
67. If your cat is a male, you swear it's a lesbian.
68. You sing along heartily with songs that make most females cringe, like "Stand by your man".
69. You've been to a bris, a bar mitzvah, a christening, a first communion and too many weddings.You have a carefully considered evaluation of the food after each.
70. You'll never have to hear your mother complain about your wife.
71. A two seater convertible seems perfectly practical to you.
72. You have a favorite Disney character and it's usually a nasty one.
73. You've left someone totally speechless.
74. You've shaved something other than your face.
75. All your friends do not have to "get along".
76. You have a large collection of anniversary pictures. They may be with different guys however.
77. Your love handles are actually used as such.
78. When someone turns his back on you, you actually consider it an opportunity.
79. You've got a large assortment of movie star biographies.
80. You've got the most interesting coffee table books.
81. You know where to find a meat rack and it ain't in your kitchen draw.
82. You have a sexual persuasion with it's own flag.
83. At some moment in your life you've envisioned having back-up girls.
84. You know my enemies.
85. After a workout in the gym, you feel like a new man. And he's right thre in the shower.
86. You're Barbra Streisland's biggest fan.
87. You know that Barbra Streisland's biggest fan is Barbra Streisland.
88. Not only have you added spice to your life - sometimes you've added side dishes.
89. You know that "small talk" can be spirituality or politics and important issues can be about Hair.
90. You've actually lived out some of your fantasies.
91. Unlike most staraight women, you have no problem being treated as a sex object.
92. You have no doubts about the accuracy of the Kinsey Report.
93. You know by heart every line ine in:
    a) All about Eve
    b) The Rocky Horror Picture Show
    c) Your face
94. You are ALWAYS ready for your close-up.
95. You have 412 ways to tell someone to get lost. 136 are nonverbal.
96. You can lip-sync to at least one Supreme's song.
97. You have a carefully selected Yiddish vocabulary.
98. Even if you're in Kansas, you're not in Kansas anymore.
99. You know exactly how many martinis it takes.
100.When throwing a party, you know how to put out quite a spread. Sometimes after the party too.